17 March 2024

Conversation with Hubby

 So yesterday morning I presented my idea of working out at home to the Hubby. Once I presented it to him, he said he was in. I told him I had ordered the walking pad (which is 9 stops away as I type this) and that I would be bringing the weight bench in the house on the days I workout. He can join me and we can do it together. I will also be using the walking pad for when I'm watching TV or just need to get some steps in. He was all for it. I know that he would like to lose a little weight and I think he really doesn't know how to go about it. So this will be good for all of us. 

Yesterday we went to the Aloha Festival and I walked 10,954 steps. I could feel it in my hips and legs. This morning Mavy wanted to walk the canal. So it's 10:30 and I already have 5,743 steps in . I will definitely hit my 10,000 today. I will work at hitting my 10,000 steps today. Plus in a few minutes I'll have a walking pad. 

Okay, so tomorrow is the big day. We start our workout program at home. I'm going to go to the gym 3 days a week I think. I'll go Tuesday Friday and Saturday. I think that should work out okay. 

Anyway, off to have some breakfast. 


16 March 2024

Post doctor conversation thoughts

 So on Friday I spoke with my doctor. And it was much as I imagined it would be. The best thing I can do for my health, including my high A1C, is to lose some weight. So I need to do that. Much like I wrote in the last post, I just need to do it. I need to move more. Even after my awareness and outlining how much I sit, I still sat most of Thursday and yesterday. I need to move more, absolutely no doubt about it. The doctor suggested that I take a walk for30 minutes, 5 times a week. Then also add in some weight training and some higher intensity workouts a couple of times a week. Which then led me down the rabbit hole of considering my workout choices. I've been going to the gym, though not consistently, for a few months now and doing some pretty strenuous hiit workouts. That led me to thinking, am I doing too much? Should I not be doing the HIIT? Maybe I should start slower. Focus on walking and doing some strength workouts at home? But then I think, I won't follow through with them. I'll blow them off like I always do. But then I think, we have the workout bench, I can just bring that in the living room and workout while I'm watching TV. Also, doing that may inspire Hubby to workout also. I have all that is necessary to workout at home. I have the weight bench, I have adjustable weights, and I have a workout book to guide us. So I could come home from work, go for a 30 minute walk, and then workout for an hour or so. Three days a week workout with the weights, and two or three days a week do some HIIT. Then I could also do my stretching, which I desperately need. I can add in Supernatural in the mornings. On paper this sounds perfect. I just went and looked at one of those walking pads. It would fit perfectly under the couch and I could  just pull it out to walk instead of sitting on my ass watching TV. So again, on paper this sounds perfect. However, I already know the resistance I will run into, both mine and Hubby's. 

1. Energy. I know when I come home from work I'm tired. I want to just lay on the couch and do nothing. I'm going to have to fight that with all my might. One way to fight it is so not put my pjs on. When I come home change into my workout clothes instead. Another way, and this is for me only, is to just put it into my head all day long. I'm working out when I come home will be my mantra all day. I know that will definitely help and  get me moving. It actually makes me look forward to workouts. 

2. Once it starts getting hotter, that will be an excuse. It's too hot, let's just hang out in the pool. I will have to work it out so that we hang out in the pool for a while and then I workout. I will just have to do it and be adamant about it. Once summer comes it will actually be easier because I will be able to workout whenever I want to. But for the next 2 months it will be a struggle. I just need to be stronger than my excuses. 

3. The old do it later mentality. I need to change how I view exercise and working out. I need to view it as something that I get to do and not that I have to do. I have to keep in mind at all times that I still have the ability to move and workout. There are many, many people who can no longer do that. I should be thankful that I still can and do it as often as possible. 

Okay, I'm doing it. What I'm going to do is start this program while still keeping my gym membership. That way if it doesn't work out, I still have the gym. I have seen with my Lumen how working out helps switch from carb burn to fat burn. I need to exploit that without killing myself. 

Okay, I'm in. Ordering the walking pad right now. Going to present this plan to Hubby this morning. 

14 March 2024

I have to admit, I don't know what to do

 Okay, that's not entirely true. I know what to do, I struggle with the how. I went in to the doctors for bloodwork on Tuesday. They contacted me later that day to say my my blood sugars have been borderline the last couple of readings and they wanted to send the blood out for an A1C test. That test gives you an average of your blood sugars over a couple of months. Well it came back yesterday in the prediabetic range. So now I have to meet with my doctor this morning to discuss what to do next. I know what I need to do, I need to move more. I know that's my real problem. I don't move enough. My average steps for the last month is only 4500. That's not even 5,000 a day. That is pathetic. I sit here at this desk or at my craft table most of the day. I can sit for hours and hours. Then, once I'm done in here, I move out to the couch and sit there for a few hours. That's not good. The weather is perfect for getting outside and yet I spend most of my break sitting inside. Again, it all comes down to my attitude. The way I view things determines what I will and will not do. So I need to view movement as a way to save my life. I  do not want to be diabetic. I do not want to be frail and elderly and unable to do things. I don't. So what am I going to do about it? It is literally my life on the line. My watch gives me warnings about my steps. At 10 minutes before every hour it warns me how many steps I have left to take in that hour to reach my daily goal of 7500. I've been ignoring it. Maybe it's time to start paying attention and moving when it tells me. Maybe it's finally time to raise this desk up and leave it there. I bought the standing desk to avoid sitting so much and I don't remember the last time I raised it up. I don't know if it still raises. When I'm home I think I need to take long walks. I used to walk the canal every single day. I haven't walked the canal in months and months. Time to get back to that. I need to make workouts out a regular, consistent part of my day. For months now I've been sporadic at best. Time to change that. I need to focus on movement. I need to focus on a lot of things. But honestly my health  needs to take priority. If I don't have my health all the other stuff won't matter. So it's time to shift my priorities. My health needs to be my first priority. Also, once I'm more active and focusing on my health, I'll have more energy and the other things will fall into place. 

Now let's discuss the how. Well, on work days I can go back to Supernatural in the mornings. I was doing that for a while and it felt great. Starting Monday, I'll go back to FitBody. I had just kind of got a routine going when my arm started acting up and I couldn't do much of anything. Between that and the oral surgery I had yesterday, this week ended up being a big bust. I'm not going to dwell on it or beat myself up, it is what it is and  it is done. Then there are walks. When I don't work out I'm home by 4ish. I could take Mavy on another walk, this time longer. He could use the exercise as much as I could. On weekends maybe I'll start taking him places again. I would like to take him hiking, maybe we can do that just start slow. I could take him to the Riparian preserve in Gilbert. That's a great place to walk the dog. So time to start walking more. I will start walking the canal again. Mavy may not be able to do it regularly, but I can. Yes!! I have to change my focus and prioritize my health. I don't want to be diabetic. I don't want to be old. I don't want to be weak and helpless. So don't. But just wishing and  wanting is not going to make it happen. 

On to food. Overall I think my food is not bad. It can definitely use some tweaks here and there, but overall it is good. Along with the movement, time to focus on the food. I'm going to devote the next few days to fine tuning the food part. I need to hit my macros regularly. I also need to use the Lumen for what it was intended for. And my FitBit. I pay money for these things and then don't use them to their full potential. Time to stop that. Time to be the adult. Time to take control of my life. No one else can. 

Okay. A little tough love always helps. Off to do some Supernatural. 

12 March 2024

Day 1 was a success

 So I created an ongoing list of things I need to do in Keep. Here is what it looks like: 

I checked off 7 things yesterday. Yay me!!!  The best part is that I don't feel the pressure of a timed schedule. I don't feel forced to do something because it says I have to do something for an hour. For example, one of the items on my list is to work on large business sign. Well, that involves a few steps, including creating a useable SVG to cut. So last night I investigated a website that supposedly lets you make SVGs easily. I tried it and it is pretty easy. But I discovered that my Silhouette Design Studio lets me do mostly the same things and so I don't really need it. I am however, going to download some file from the other place to use. 

Anyway, it was a good day 1. I'm hoping to have continued success with this. I guess to do that I will really have to work it. 

11 March 2024

Time for some more introspection

 Last post was truly eye-opening. I am the type that has to know the why of things. I can just do for a while, but eventually I have to know and understand the why or I can't keep doing it. Not sure that makes sense to anyone but me, but it makes perfect sense to me. 

With that revelation, I have realized that I need to tackle this fear head on. I need to do things where I don't know what I'm doing. I need to have a goal without knowing how, or if, it will work out. I need to push myself. But to do that I need a plan. I've spent so long floundering around with this business that I'm not sure I know how to actually push it forward. But I've got to try and figure it all out. So a plan is a must. I was just thinking to myself that I should set a schedule, especially since we are on spring break this week. But then I realized that I don't do well with schedules. I work better with to-do lists. At least in my personal life. I still have a habit of doing things when I feel like doing them. So schedules are too confining and I have a tendency to blow them off. But to-do lists? I'm good with those. Love getting my stuff done. But I also need to have this list up front and in my face. I have a frequent habit of making a list in my planner and then not looking at it all day. When I'm getting ready for bed, I will see it and realize all the stuff I did not get done that day. So you know what I need? I need a routine for this. I will write things in my planner that need to be done. Then that morning or the evening before, I will transfer those things to a to-do list in Keep. I will leave that open on my computer all day and I will put it on my phone too. OMG!!! So, I'm excited about this. Seriously. I will need to work it for a while until it becomes the norm, but I can do it. I put the Keep widget on my home screen on my phone. It will have the list for that day. I can add to it or check things off as I go. Yes!!! I can make this work. I can. I will have to work it but it will become a habit. 

So there it is. I will just set things that need to be done each day and go from there. I am excited. The way the widget is set up, it stays on my home screen and updates as I update it. So that means it will be an ongoing list. When I get things done, I cross it off. When I don't it just stays there until I do get it done. I'm so excited about this. Seriously. No more forgetting things and having them slip through the cracks. I'm going to do this. 

Okay, I'm off to live my plan. 

Some tough love

 But before we get to that, an update on the arm/hand situation. I think I figured out what I have. Cubital tunnel syndrome. That is basically a compression of the ulnar nerve in the upper arm that causes numbness in the fingers. Boom! Now I know what it is. I also got some exercises to do to glide the nerve. The only real treatment is rest, exercise, and surgery if it doesn't get better. So I am basically a medical sleuth. 

On to the tough love. I have been giving this 'business' of mine a very half-hearted approach. I have not touched my website in weeks. My social media posting is sporadic at best. I have not signed up for any shows. Really? How am I supposed to make a success of this thing with this work ethic? I need to be all in if I'm going to make this work. But to do that, I need to figure out exactly what I'm going to sell. I am so all over the place with product, I don't even know where to begin. I do have a rescue fair that I am considering. That would at least focus me on animal stuff. But then I would need to do a lot of things to get ready. But at the same time, it's over a month away. Hmmmmm.....decisions, decision. 

What I do know is that I can't be this distracted from my business. I need to do more, focus more, care more. Right now I'm just spending money and not making anything. NOTHING!!!!  I need to do something to actually make money. I posted a listing on Amazon and have got nothing from that. I could post more things. I could watch some videos and webinars about making money on Amazon. I could watch the videos from the Craftfest that I paid for. I could watch the videos from the courses I've paid for. I could put more time and effort into making this thing work. But do I? NO!! I make things that I feel like making. I watch a lot of TV. I sit on the couch and color!!!! I've got to change things up. 

Let's see if I can get to the why? Why do I want this? Why do I not put more effort into it? Why am I not doing more to promote it? I think there is a few things going on that I need to address and deal with. 

First, why do I want this? Well, I want something to do when I retire. I'm scared of retiring. I'm afraid I won't have enough money. I'm afraid that I'll end up sitting around doing nothing and getting old. I thought that by having a small business going I could avoid all that. It would keep me busy and provide a little extra money each month. Also, I really enjoy making things. 

Next, why do I not put more effort into it? Well, I tell myself that teaching Monday through Thursday is exhausting and I just don't have the energy. I also tell myself that I need time to workout and relax and spend with Hubby. So when I get home at 5 or 5:30 and go to bed at 8ish, there is really just enough time to relax and spend with Hubby. Now granted my idea of relaxing is sitting on the couch, coloring on my app, and watching completely mindless TV (hello, Frasier). It has become a ritual that I am completely into. I will get up from dinner to change the channel to watch Frasier. That is ridiculous. As for spending time with Hubby, we each sit in the same room and look at our devices. That hardly qualifies as quality time. It is literally the same routine every single work night. I come home, Hubby is sitting at the counter, drinking a beer and making dinner. I change into my jammies and head over to the couch and pick up my iPad with my coloring app. Dinner is ready. We eat and I head back to the couch. Hubby feeds the dog. Around this time he always asks, What's on tonight? The answer is almost always, nothing. We go to bed at 8pm so unless something is on at 7pm, we don't watch it until the weekend. Then we sit there watching Frasier or Penn & Teller or Survivor. At 7ish, I get up and clean the kitchen and Hubby usually heads off to bed. I may stretch and then follow him in. That's it. That's our nights. That's actually our weekend nights also as it's become such a habit. I know that I have as much time as I think I have - it is all in the mindset. I also know that if I had something to do for my business, Hubby would completely understand. So there is no reason why I can't work on it a little each night. I did say that I was going to do my social media posting at night on the couch. I could get back into that. I let that slip a lot. So, how about baby steps. I will get back into doing my social media posting when sitting on the couch at nigh. 

Next up, why am I not doing more to promote it? This is where things get a little hairy for me. I don't do enough to promote it, there is no question about that. But the underlying reason is something I've been afraid to face my whole life. I'm afraid I'll be successful. I barely have the time to do things now. If I was successful, how much more would I be working? It's weird, I know. But I am afraid of being successful. I always have been. And I've always known that about myself. So how do I get over it? I honestly don't know. I  just need to fight through it and see what happens if I do become successful. Having no background or experience with real success, I don't know what to expect or how to do it. Which, is something I have struggled with my whole life, doing something I don't know how to do. If I don't know how to do something, like be successful, I'm afraid of it. I get scared and wonder if I can do it. Is that a form of perfectionism? I don't need to do things perfectly but I am a little afraid of the unknown. Hell, even going somewhere I've never been before is scary to me. I can look at is as an adventure, but there is a certain amount of fear there too. That's a control thing. Going into something or someplace that I'm not familiar with takes all control away from me. I don't know what's going to happen and I don't know what to do and I don't know how to deal with it. OMG!!!! This is so enlightening. This is my Undiscovered Country. Whenever I am faced with that, I get a little scared. I absolutely felt it with my Amazon listing. I was so afraid of what would happen if that thing took off. But I think I kind of sabotaged myself to make sure it didn't. 

Well, as always, figuring out the root cause shines a light on things and helps me understand how to deal with it. So I'm off to face my fear of success. I'm going to do things that I think will lead to success and see what happens. Will I handle it perfectly? No. Will I make mistakes? Absolutely. Will it kill me? Probably not. And it could lead to something really spectacular. So I'm determined to face it and do the best I can. 

10 March 2024

Update from last post

 It was an interesting weekend. 

Turns out my knee pain was very temporary. On Friday morning I put some Voltaren on them and then took Mavy for a walk. By the afternoon they felt fine. So that was just a temporary setback. 

My arms/hands are a whole story in themselves. I mentioned they would go numb but it was far more than that. Especially my left arm. My hand would go numb and then it would feel like it was on fire. I could not figure out a way to hold it where that wouldn't happen. Sometimes if I stretched it out, it would be better. Sometimes if I kept it slightly bent, it would be better. But nothing lasted for long. It would always come back. Friday night, Hubby asked if I wanted to sit in the hot tub. I said yes, because I thought that might help some. I was seriously wrong, it actually made it worse. But I did discover where the pain was emanating from. It was coming from the inside of my arm, right above the elbow. I could press there and be in excruciating pain. At least now I knew where it was coming from. Which started me thinking. If it was coming from that far up my arm and my hand was going numb, a nerve must be being impinged. And further, it must be my muscle that is squeezing the nerve, there's really nothing else up there. Hmmmm. After the hot tub it was much worse and I could not even lay in bed, it was too painful. So I got up and sat in the recliner with the arm resting on a chair next to the recliner. Then Hubby suggested I put some cold on it. We have this cold thing that is rice or something and meant to go around your neck. He got me that and I put it on my upper arm and OMG!!! It felt wonderful. The pain and numbness went away and the arm felt completely normal. Once that warmed up, I thought of the Cryoderm that we use. It is a cold therapy. I slathered my arm in that and it too felt wonderful. It burned like crazy on my upper arm - which we have noticed it tends to do if that is where the problem is. So my upper arm burned like crazy but my hand was not numb. I stayed on the recliner until about 1 am, but really couldn't sleep. Then I went into bed and managed to get some sleep. I was up around 4ish. The more I thought about the whole arm/hand thing, the more I came to believe that I had some muscle soreness. I had worked out on Wednesday and Thursday night. I believed that what I was experiencing with the arm was sort of what I get when I overwork the legs. When I work the legs too hard it becomes difficult to sit down and stand up because of the lactic acid build up. I believe that is what was happening with my arm. There was a ton of lactic acid build up, the muscles were swollen with it, and it was squeezing a nerve. When I used cold things on it, the muscle would contract due to the cold and the pain went away. So I spent yesterday keeping the Cryoderm on it and taking Naproxen for the inflammation. And it worked wonders. I felt pretty damn good all day yesterday. Not perfect, but I was not in pain the majority of the day. That was nice. I got my clothes all sorted away and straightened out. It felt good not to be in pain all day. 

So, while I was walking Mavy, I was trying to figure out what could have caused this. I did workout Wednesday and Thursday. And Thursday was strength session. So I thought back over what we did and tried to narrow it down. The only thing I could come up with was, in Wednesday's session we did these things where we just held a really heavy dumbbell for 45 seconds. Initially I wasn't going too heavy, but by the 5th round I decided that I could go heavier. I picked up two 45 lb dumbbells and stood there for 45 seconds. I think that was where it happened. I think I went too heavy and I think I pulled that muscle a little bit. So, lesson learned: Don't go really heavy, take your time to build up to id. 

I'm just glad I figured out how to deal with it, because honestly I was worried that there was something seriously wrong. So I'm glad I figured out how to deal with it and I've learned my lesson. Go Slow!!!

08 March 2024

We made it



we are officially on spring break. Yes!!! I have things to do, but at least during spring break I can do them in my own time. Yes!!! I have a few things on my mind this morning so let's jump right in.

First are some physical issues. My knees are killing me. They are incredibly painful. It hurts to walk or stand or sit or lay down. It is miserable. But if I do keep active, standing, walking, etc, eventually they start to feel better. Hmmm? I don't know. I'm leaning towards arthritis but in both knees to the same degree, at the same time? Seems a little sketchy to me. I'm also leaning towards the fact that it might be my weight. I am at the heaviest I've been in a while and I'm exercising quite a bit. I'm trying very hard not to jump or run or create any jarring movements on my knees, but last night I did jump twice off high boxes. So yeah, there's that.

Then I have this numbness going on in my hands/arms. This is really bothering me. My hands will go, not exactly numb, but almost like they have fallen asleep and it does not feel good. My left arm/hand is by far the worst. It is happening now as I sit typing this. I have no idea what this might be and frankly it kind of scares me.

The problem with both of these issues is that Medicare starts on April 1st. That is just 24 days away. Since my Medicare coverage is so, so much better than the coverage I have now, I'm really trying to wait it out. But the hand/arm thing is really, really annoying. It was really bothering me yesterday but when I went to strength training last night it was fine. I don't understand it and I can't figure it out. But I will hold on and try to wait it out so I don't have to pay a fortune for it.

Okay, now the bigee. Metabolic flexibility.

Metabolic flexibility is the ability to adapt to changes in metabolic demand. It's also defined as the ability of skeletal muscle to adjust how it uses substrate pathways.
I have heard about this for years and years. When I was following Jason, he talked about this all the time. He would tell us that this was the key to losing weight and that we had to get to a state of good metabolic flexibility in order to really be healthy. Of course, getting there involved things like good sleep, low stress levels, exercise without stress, eating well, etc. Turns out he seems to be right, but there was no way to actually determine if you had good metabolic flexibility or not. He had some things, like being able to fast without too much issue and regular intermittent fasting. Also, if you have good metabolic flexibility your cravings go away. Things like that. But a lot of this you could white-knuckle and think you have goo metabolic flexibility but you really don't.

Then along came Lumen. I've been seeing these ads for years now and kept wondering if it really worked. Can blowing into a little device really help you lose weight. Well, the other day I did a little more digging into it and discovered that it helped you gain metabolic flexibility. By breathing into it, it can measure what you are burning. The more acetone in your breath, the more fat you are burning. Simple and actually pretty easy. So you blow into this device first thing in the morning and then at various times throughout the day to get not only a picture of if you are burning fat or carbs, but how food and exercise affects what you are burning. It then recommends a diet for the day based on what you blew that morning. So yesterday morning I blew a 5, almost exclusively carb burning, so it recommended a very low carb diet for the day, 75grams I believe. This morning I blew a 1, fat burning,  and it still recommends a low carb diet, but today it's 125 grams.  Over the course of the first 2 weeks it is learning me and my patterns. After the first 2 weeks it will have more focused recommendations. I'm very excited about this. I feel like I'm not just floundering in the dark anymore when it comes to my weight or what to eat or what I burn. I feel like I am finally getting some good, usable information that will help me finally take control of my health and my weight. 

Okay, I think that's enough for today. Also, the formatting on this post has gotten all screwed up and I'm tired of messing with it.  

Conversation with Hubby

 So yesterday morning I presented my idea of working out at home to the Hubby. Once I presented it to him, he said he was in. I told him I h...